Day: October 26, 2013

Not the email we were hoping for

On Monday of this week we got the news that the Haroldson’s dossier had exited IBESR (a major step forward) and ours was sitting on the President’s (really?!) desk awaiting dispensation (his stamp of approval saying we are allowed to adopt even though we already have biological children).  I was extremely excited when Doreen gave me this news- on 2 fronts: 1. so happy for them to be moving forward, and 2. b/c we thought we should hear the same news soon since our dossiers entered IBESR at the same time.  Also, our boys’ situations are very similar and would seem to travel down the same path.

All week my prayer has been that we would hear SOMETHING about our case by today (Friday).  And, it would be awesome if that SOMETHING was that we, too, had exited IBESR.  After hearing nothing from Mon-Thurs., I played mental games with myself all day at work today… seeing how long I could go without checking my phone for an email (I didn’t do very well in my challenge).  All the while not expecting anything b/c it seems like we never have heard any news on a Friday.

I was on a walk after work when I heard the beep of an email come through my headphones.  By this time I wasn’t even thinking it could be adoption news.  But, it was from our lawyer in Haiti letting us know that our dossier has been hung up in IBESR while they wait for our crechè (orphanage) to have its accreditation renewed AND they need to get Davensly’s psychological evaluation updated.  Neither of these issues seem small to me and had me feeling immediately very discouraged, frustrated, and sad.  

I’m trying to not let my thoughts run away from me- because that causes a downward spiral quickly… my mind has been all over the place for the past few hours… it’s actually quite comical if I think about it.  One second it’s: oh man, Vinny may end up in Haiti all by himself for a few months… then: get ahold of yourself…then: ok, God, you’ve got this.  You know the exact date he will come home and it’s not going to be one day late or one day early…then: but, PLEASE can you send Stanley and Vinny home at the same time? for their sake and for all of us… then: but, Stanley shouldn’t have to wait for Davensly … then: do not fear for I am with you (and with Davensly), do not be dismayed for I am your God … then: how can they not have renewed their crechè license in the middle of all this?! … then: who’s going to bring Vin to his evaluation while Rock is in the U.S.? … then: this sucks … then: it’s going to be ok.  We knew this was going to be a rollercoaster ride of emotions. It’s a marathon, not a sprint… then: Vinny is fine.  He’s there with his buddies, going to school in a language he understands, he’s not freezing cold… then: every delay with our case means he isn’t here! We love him. He belongs in our family. then: SIGH. OH GOD, hear my confusion and frustration! Protect his mind, body, soul and spirit. Grow in him a longing and a love for you while we wait.  We trust you. We do. Yes, we do…

Funny stuff.  Real stuff.  Hard stuff.  Is that how you spell STUFF?  looks weird…

Anyway, that’s where I’m at tonight.  I’ve spent a little time in the book of Habakkuk this week (don’t ask me why- no idea how I landed there)… learning Hab was a prophet and, unlike the other prophets, Hab spoke to God on behalf of the people vs. God speaking to the people through him.  He questioned God a lot about the prevalent injustices of the world and struggled to understand how God works.  Yet, he had faith in the end that he could trust God no matter how discouraging the circumstances seemed to be.  I’m going to choose the same.  But, as Hab did- I’m sharing my confusion and frustration with Him b/c He’s the one who made me to care about these things in the first place! And, I believe He’s going to act and show up just as he has been all along.  After another one of Hab’s complaints, God tells him, ¨For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false.  Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.¨

So…stay tuned.  And please pray with us.