Not the email we were hoping for

On Monday of this week we got the news that the Haroldson’s dossier had exited IBESR (a major step forward) and ours was sitting on the President’s (really?!) desk awaiting dispensation (his stamp of approval saying we are allowed to adopt even though we already have biological children).  I was extremely excited when Doreen gave me this news- on 2 fronts: 1. so happy for them to be moving forward, and 2. b/c we thought we should hear the same news soon since our dossiers entered IBESR at the same time.  Also, our boys’ situations are very similar and would seem to travel down the same path.

All week my prayer has been that we would hear SOMETHING about our case by today (Friday).  And, it would be awesome if that SOMETHING was that we, too, had exited IBESR.  After hearing nothing from Mon-Thurs., I played mental games with myself all day at work today… seeing how long I could go without checking my phone for an email (I didn’t do very well in my challenge).  All the while not expecting anything b/c it seems like we never have heard any news on a Friday.

I was on a walk after work when I heard the beep of an email come through my headphones.  By this time I wasn’t even thinking it could be adoption news.  But, it was from our lawyer in Haiti letting us know that our dossier has been hung up in IBESR while they wait for our crechè (orphanage) to have its accreditation renewed AND they need to get Davensly’s psychological evaluation updated.  Neither of these issues seem small to me and had me feeling immediately very discouraged, frustrated, and sad.  

I’m trying to not let my thoughts run away from me- because that causes a downward spiral quickly… my mind has been all over the place for the past few hours… it’s actually quite comical if I think about it.  One second it’s: oh man, Vinny may end up in Haiti all by himself for a few months… then: get ahold of yourself…then: ok, God, you’ve got this.  You know the exact date he will come home and it’s not going to be one day late or one day early…then: but, PLEASE can you send Stanley and Vinny home at the same time? for their sake and for all of us… then: but, Stanley shouldn’t have to wait for Davensly … then: do not fear for I am with you (and with Davensly), do not be dismayed for I am your God … then: how can they not have renewed their crechè license in the middle of all this?! … then: who’s going to bring Vin to his evaluation while Rock is in the U.S.? … then: this sucks … then: it’s going to be ok.  We knew this was going to be a rollercoaster ride of emotions. It’s a marathon, not a sprint… then: Vinny is fine.  He’s there with his buddies, going to school in a language he understands, he’s not freezing cold… then: every delay with our case means he isn’t here! We love him. He belongs in our family. then: SIGH. OH GOD, hear my confusion and frustration! Protect his mind, body, soul and spirit. Grow in him a longing and a love for you while we wait.  We trust you. We do. Yes, we do…

Funny stuff.  Real stuff.  Hard stuff.  Is that how you spell STUFF?  looks weird…

Anyway, that’s where I’m at tonight.  I’ve spent a little time in the book of Habakkuk this week (don’t ask me why- no idea how I landed there)… learning Hab was a prophet and, unlike the other prophets, Hab spoke to God on behalf of the people vs. God speaking to the people through him.  He questioned God a lot about the prevalent injustices of the world and struggled to understand how God works.  Yet, he had faith in the end that he could trust God no matter how discouraging the circumstances seemed to be.  I’m going to choose the same.  But, as Hab did- I’m sharing my confusion and frustration with Him b/c He’s the one who made me to care about these things in the first place! And, I believe He’s going to act and show up just as he has been all along.  After another one of Hab’s complaints, God tells him, ¨For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false.  Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.¨

So…stay tuned.  And please pray with us.

 

 

23 comments

  1. You talk things thru really well in your mind, thoughts towards God & how He is working it all out in His time. Proud of you for trusting, still trusting it will all work out. . Praying lots too. Mom

  2. Thanks for being so real- we’re praying for you all. And you’re right- God does have this, just wish it wasn’t so hard sometimes.

  3. I’m proud of you too for how you’re thinking about this–lots of thoughts milling around in that brain of yours. 😉 Good for you for trying to avoid the downward spiral–just take a day at a time, PRAY and TRUST! We will be standing with you in prayer and trusting that God will bring all the pieces together in His time. Love you all so much and can’t wait for that little guy to get here.

  4. Oh dear Ann (and family)….. I feel your pain and truly know how hard that rollercoaster is as we rode it waiting for Emily. You have the added pain of having held that beautiful child in your arms and been able to get to know Davensly while making memories with him during your visit. We are on our knees for you and all of those thoughts/prayers going on in your head.
    You are so right in the fact that God’s timing is perfect, not a day early and not a day late. In that fact you can rest! It is so good to know that God is in control and not just the “officials” that appear to be in control at this moment.
    Love to you all, Becky, Doug, and Emily

  5. Praying…praying…praying. That is about all we can do. And make a phone call…and pray. Send an email…and pray. I’ve got your back Pal. Trusting the journey. Faith like Habakkuk…trusting God no matter how discouraging circumstances seem to be. Hugs to you, the fam, and D!

  6. Praying, praying, praying… feeling your frustration and wiping a tear or two. God has this, my friend. Keep trusting. I read this today: “God’s ways are always right. They may not make sense to use. They may be mysterious, inexplicable, difficult, and even painful. But they are right.” God has this. Keep trusting. Love you!

  7. We’re joining the Pearcy family in prayer. I’m so sorry that you didn’t get the news you want, and think it’s so cool that God gave you the book of Habakkuk for such a time as this. It’s one of my favorite books and truly does show that no matter what is happening, God has it under control. I’m hoping that when you get to the end of this process that God’s timing will end up making some sense. Davensly is a blessed little guy to have such a wonderful forever family praying and preparing for his arrival. I’m praying for God to work miracles in all of these details, and to give each of you the peace that passes all human understanding.

  8. Always a great ‘read’ Ann. Sorry to know that you are ‘down’ and probably wishing this whole process was over. Soon you will look back on this time and chuckle at how wonderful it has all come together for Devensly to be with you and Stanley to be with his family. We are all rooting for you out here and we just know that you will have him soon. Love to you always, me

  9. Ann, Scott, Cali, Will –
    I SO wish this was a different blog post. I am sad with you – sad that things are not rushing for Davensly to be here. I agree with Brian about the book of Habbakuk. Grateful for friends who rely on what is true even in the midst of situations that seem uncertain or unwelcome. We keep praying for the day to come soon. I am now adding what the Grafs prayed for their girls: “Sooner than later, healthy and happy.” We love you guys!!

  10. We are on this roller coaster ride with you !!! We will keep praying, praying, praying !! You express yourself so well, thank you for sharing your private thoughts … it encourages me w/ …STUFF !!! Love you guys, Stacey

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s